How to Identify Key Decisions That Are Hurting Your Relationship

This is article two of To identify key decisions in your life, first, look at your current circumstances because they are a reflection of your beliefs and If you find there is a pattern to your circumstances and your behavior then you know you made a key decision that is being played and re-played out in your For example, if you go from one bad relationship to another, you likely made a key decision about yourself and relationships that keeps you from experiencing loving, intimate Or if you have chronic problems with money, again there is a key decision about what money means or what you Maybe you find yourself exhausted because you are always working and never give yourself a Did you make a decision at some point that you must constantly strive to do more, have more, be more?

One very useful exercise is to write your autobiography in order to review your life Think back over your life and write down your memories about what you experienced, what life was like, what you Start as far back as you What do you remember between the ages of 0-5, 5-10, 10-15, and so on? It is best to hand write your story on paper because this will engage your right brain more and stimulate your forgotten you have a good collection of memories written down, take some time to look for significant events and for patterns can you see?

  • How did you respond to difficult events or pattern of events?
  • How did you try to make yourself feel better?
  • What did you do to try to succeed, get attention, or feel significant?
  • Can you see ways you learned to protect yourself?
  • By answering these questions and reflecting on the themes in your life you should be able to see some key decisions you made that have influenced the course of your life and how you have the first article I told you about the husband of a couple I am working The wife also has an interesting story to She grew up with her mother and an old Mom had men in and out of her life and some of them were controlling and Mom worked hard and went out often so my client basically had to cope with life on her She found refuge in her friends and their families and got some of her needs for attention She made some key decisions to cope with life by trying to be perfect and make people like She also decided she wanted to have a large family and dedicate herself to being the best mother she could key decisions this client made helped her get some of her needs met as a child and to be successful as a wife and mother as an However, she was also very sensitive to any indication of not being loved and In the previous article we learned that her husband was good at providing and working hard but not skilled in emotional She responded in the only way she knew, which was to be even more perfect and work for his Inevitably this pattern led to resentment for both of them as they were not really getting what they needed from one Again the good news is they both made a commitment to learn how to change the key decision patterns and create a new quality of The next article will focus on how to understand and change self-defeating key

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